As people, we seek closure. We desire clear resolutions and avoid unanswered questions. That’s why it’s so satisfying to read the ‘big reveal’ of a murder mystery. For me, I’m no different. Though, I have a bad habit of seeking closure to my unfinished childhood projects.

I can’t forget about those stories I wrote as a kid unless I bring them to fruition in some form. 

This visual novel, Demon Guardian, is a product of that. I had planned to give it some kind of rewrite, but could not decide on the media I wanted. When the Horror and Folklore VN Jam rolled along, I thought, well, why not a visual novel?

That’s how I started working on it while also madly making the deadlines for Otome Jam 2024. I thrive on deadlines, y’all. 

Demon Guardian was originally a comic I wrote when I was 10-11 years old. I could not find the original sketchbooks I drew it in, so I have nothing to show, but I still have some story notes and character designs. I was surprised to sift through the yellowed papers and find out that the initial idea was something like a Jewel Pet spinoff. Jewel Pet is a toy franchise that came out in 2008 and features animal mascots based on different gems (hence the name). The idea was that I wanted to draw something about some humanoid chibi mascots based on gemstones and their meanings. Then I do not know how that thing turned into pretty much a Nurarihyon no Mago ripoff that became the actual story of 2010 Demon Guardian. Nurarihyon no Mago or Nura: Rise of the Youkai Clan is a shonen manga about a part-youkai boy who’s destined to become the leader of the most powerful youkai gang of the nation.

What’s the premise of 2010 Demon Guardian? Lalinlat, or Lat for short, is a part-demon boy who’s destined to become the leader of the most powerful demon coalition of the nation, guarding the Demon Gate. Yeah, it might not sound that similar to Nura but I assure you the events are so ripped-off-Nura I had to change the plot for this visual novel. First of all, young master Lat was a brown-haired nice guy who’s always the middle person when his friends in the ghost club argue. Lat was also able to shift into his demon form, though not limited by time of day. He also used a sword. Nura Rikuo, anyone?

The POV character, though, was Pimpima or Pim. She’s an ordinary happy-go-lucky girl and enthusiastic member of the ghost club which included Lat, Eirene, Natee, Yeerah, Nan, and Thana, all of whom appeared in this visual novel. One day, Pim woke up with an egg-shaped, egg-sized ruby with some kind of symbol on it. Then out came Master Chunfeng, a chibi master of martial arts! He’s one of the five guardians of the Demon Gate, and he needed a partner to channel his energy or some shit, I don’t even know. Anyway, the ghost club went to Lat’s house, which was a traditional Thai house rumored to be haunted. (Another funny detail was that the city they’re in is called Piralai, which literally means ‘pass away’ as in die. This comes into the plot later but it’s a section I never managed to write.) 

Just like in this visual novel, all started well, but then the club members started disappearing one by one, kidnapped by the demons and spirits in the house. The nondescript Thana went first. (The reason Thana in this VN is only a side character is because he had zero personality in the original lol.) Then the rest of the girls, until only Pim was left. She and Master Chunfeng uncovered that Lat is the next heir to the Sai-mhok (Mist Veil) house, the family that’s been guarding the Demon Gate for generations. He also had his own chibi mentor, Dori, who represents sapphire and was the leader of the guardians. Lat made the spirits and demons under his command return his friends and pretend nothing happened.

With the shared secret and responsibility as a guardian’s partner, Pim began visiting Lat’s house and getting to know the different characters. There’s a nekomata who would later be the prototype for Vichien in my other game. There’s also a kappa called Sui, a Thai mermaid, a Suea Saming, and a hollow-eyed ghost (ผีตาโบ๋) whose names were literally just what kind of ghost there were. They get into a lot of skirmishes and fights with bad demons and rival coalitions. Pim found out that due to a kind of mist specific to the area, she gained a demon form and could use a giant paintbrush to smack people. Gosh, look at what air pollution does.

The reason I decided to go for a Thai vibe instead of Japanese was simply that Garin’s Uncanny Files was all the rage back then. It’s a mixed media project where the story centers around two characters: Garin, a hot creep obsessed with black magic, and Lantarima, a girl who can amplify black magic and absolutely detests her power. Naturally, Garin’s all over Lantarima and bullying her like the red flag he is, but I digress. That story sparked my interests in Thai black magic, and coupled to my friends being obsessed with ghost stories back then, finally gave birth to the beta Demon Guardian.

All in all, the story was pretty much slapstick comedy and action, what you’d expect a 10-year-old to write, huh? I drew an entire volume and a half before running into a writer’s block and forgetting about it, just like leaving my childhood behind. (I think I also mistakenly threw out the sketchbooks I drew it in.)

Demon Guardian had been on my mind, and I wrote notes on how I wanted to change the story up. I wanted Pim to be the weak one that the group lacked, and wanted to split Lat into two separate characters. I wanted the story to focus on proving ghosts and spirits closely tied to Thai culture (like the Naga fireballs), which questions whether it’s really necessary to always know the truth. The chibi mascot characters got thrown out somewhere, but I wanted to find ways to bring them back. Lva was going to be the green flag good boy, though somehow I thought having him eff the whole thing would be more interesting.

When I decided to join the jam, came the next big decision: how can I write a game within a month that wouldn’t exhaust me while working on my main project, and make it horror so that it fits into the horror game jam? That’s when I came to the decision that I would expand the haunted house arc of the original comic with new twists. I’ll give the characters some scary fates and push the remaining ones to their breaking point.

To save time, I went back to my simplistic sprite art style from back in 2015 when I made my first visual novel, which allowed me to finish a sprite in an hour or two. I used assets I prepped for my other games. The most time-consuming part was the writing, which I kept adjusting until the last minute (and heck there are some scenes I can never get right but the time frame taught me to stop being a perfectionist). The testing also took a while, because of the number of endings and…well, frankly I am a complete beginner at using variables to control story flow.

The game is quite short, and I can’t change my cutesy art style, so I bet it wasn’t scary for many people. I’ve honestly never written horror before. I know how to make things scary by theory but not by practice. Though, I’m really weak to horror, so I just wanted to make something that people weak to horror like me can get a little goosebump and move on. 

What I found surprising during development was that I did not expect to grow fond of Nantima. In the original, Nan was an annoying boisterous side character type. She was a witch doctor trying to get to the bottom of Lat’s true identity. I included her in this game just for the sake of it, but as I wrote, she pretty much became my favorite character of the cast. The scene where she broke, but kept holding on for Pim’s sake was unplanned. It just happened and I like it when my characters do their own thing. It’s a joy as a writer.

One thing I struggled with (aside from programming, of course) was Lat’s outfit. I had no clue what this guy would wear outside of his uniform, so I decided to just go with whatever, and he turned out looking like a tourist at Suvarnabhumi airport. I was mere inches from turning this VN into the comedy it once was lol. 

I was very excited that Demon Guardian was featured in Ghosts of the SEA 2024. I have never expected anything I made to be in any kind of feature, and I’m glad I put in the work I did to polish up the game in the limited time. I’m just really proud of myself for making my childhood story into what it is, though it’s a small game, and I really thank all the hosts for giving me the opportunity.

I had been struggling with depression, and I realized…you never truly understand what it’s like until you’ve had it. You question yourself. Your whole outlook of the world changes. Your sense of pride, happiness, worth, they’re crushed, and you try to scoop the pieces back and sculpt them into what they once were with wet, sloshy cookie dough. You’re scarred and you get triggered, and it could never be the same again. I could never be happy with any kind of achievements I made, however great it may be. I just felt sick when I knew I graduated with first class honors and my thesis was rated very good. What had I given for this master’s degree? I spent months after my thesis defense in a daze, living day by day and trying to enjoy the little things. I thought I’d always be numb, but somehow…hitting that Upload to itch.io button in Ren’py brought back some life in me. I looked at my game page, my jam submission, my game being featured, and I was finally feeling something again. I thought, heck, even if I don’t make any money from this, I’ll keep going. It won’t feed me but it’ll keep me alive.

Anyway, sorry for dumping that on you out of the blue. I’ll end with some ideas I have for this game. I want to bring back some characters from the original version and feature them in another possible sequel to this one, but that’s still on the drawing board until I finish my main game.

Thank you for reading this far. It’s truly wonderful to have someone to share my story with, and I hope you have a pleasant day or night, wherever you are.